The man who broke my heart.

Thu 1/27/2005

Ladies and Gentlemen, meet GREG HAJDU.

Does that name sound familiar? Well, as some of you might remember, Mr. Hajdu was the construction manager for "Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith" down at Fox Studios Australia. I exchanged a dozen emails with this man. I talked to this man on my mobile phone, while in Sydney, Australia -- less than a mile from the construction site. THIS is the man who did NOT hire me to work on Star Wars.

And starwars.com just posted a two page article (with pictures of the set) all about this man.

Really, it wasn't until I got to the second page that I started crying uncontrollably and felt a sudden urge to rip my laptop from my desk and throw it through my window and down into the alley, six stories below. So... Just when you thought you were TOTALLY OVER something--you suddenly have to face it again and it completely destroys you! Fantastic.

I guess I just don't think about Australia much. Or what sent me there. Or the FIVE YEARS of preparation that I did before going. Or all the things that I PUSHED ASIDE in order to be able to go there. And when I do... Or when I have to look at pictures of the set that I COULD have helped build, and the smiling face of the man that COULD HAVE hired me, but didn't... well, it is pretty frustrating.

My whole plan to work on Star Wars is the biggest FAILURE I've experienced in my life so far. So I guess I don't think about it much. When I do though, when I think about who I WOULD be right now if I HAD worked on Episode III... Man, I would just feel INVINCIBLE. But now I don't. I'm lonely and confused about my life. I have this one thing: Comics. And I love it and it's MINE and no one can tell me that I can't do it or that "we have a bunch of other people who helped us draw the last comic, so we're just going to use them again." But sometimes it feels like that's ALL I have...

Ugh. I'm sorry. This post probably only makes sense to about half the people who are reading it.

It's just... I am getting excited for Episode III, but it'll be weird how bitter-sweet the whole thing will be. I had kind of forgotten about that.

1 comment on this entry

I am posting this about a year and half late. I can relate to you. Dont ever see that 5 years of your life as complete failure, see it as luck because that way you have gain valuable life experience that will help you pull through harder part of life. If you focus and go strong with comics that u seem to have alot of interest in, and do your best in watever u do. I have to that is the best recipe for sucess. I believe are all born enterprenuers with alot of confidence, but how we handle our life experiences changes that. But you are using that energy and anger into something else that will be profitable for u. One day u will be in charge of making your own set and finding people to build on this. Good Luck :-)

Yemi Oct22

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