The Blue Album considered

Tue 1/20/2009

How could anyone possibly argue that The Blue Album is not the greatest album EVER CREATED IN THE HISTORY OF THE UNIVERSE??? Have you even LISTENED to the blue album???? Holy sweet god damn! It's like the atomic bomb of rock music. Its destructive rock power is IMMEASURABLE. You know how scientists and politicians and even military fools are scared of the power of the atomic bomb? Like sure, shooting guns is pretty effective for their wars and launching missiles can do a lot of damage, right? But the A-bomb? It's so scary, so horrifically destructive we've only used it twice in all of recorded time.

OK Computer is a GUN, OK? Revolver is a MISSLE (even though it would be funnier if it was a GUN). The Blue Album is the flippin' A-bomb people! Listen to it: QED!!!

The harmonica at the end of My Name Is Jonas is my long lost brother, who I am finally reunited with after a lifetime apart. No One Else is like driving 110 miles an hour through Montana with your best friend beside you and NOT getting a speeding ticket. I want to MARRY the drumming in The World Has Turned and Left Me Here. Buddy Holly is the only food I will ever need to eat ever again. I want to create an entire country just so I can make The Sweater Song its national anthem. Every time we start a game of soccer, 100,000 people will sing it together at the top of their lungs! I will turn Surf Wax America into a skateboard (YEAH, NOT A SURFBOARD) and I will use it to ollie over THE MOON. I will drink nothing but the opening bars of Say It Ain't So for the rest of my life. We will use the guitar solo from In the Garage to fuel every car on earth for 100 million years. Listening to Holiday is like not realizing that you've been in pain your ENTIRE LIFE and then you suddenly have an operation and it removes the pain and JUST EXISTING is the most miraculous wonderful, blissful thing ever. Only In Dreams is like two comets crashing into opposite sides of a supernova, which is exploding IN THE MIDDLE OF A BLACK HOLE, IN YOUR HEAD.

Someday I will have kids and I will lock them in the basement for year after year, forcing them to listen only to classical music. And they will hate me, they will plot their revenge. Until, on their 14th birthday, I will and give them a copy of THE BLUE ALBUM and release them into the world. And from that day forth, despite my previous treatment of them, they will LOVE me. I will be the coolest dad ever. We will high-five and rock out together for hours on end.

I'm sorry to just totally go nuts like this, but my previous weezer posts never really got into The Blue Album, and truth be told, I am avoiding talking about my personal experiences with it, because I really want to do a weezer issue of Phase 7 someday. But OH MAN, I put on The Blue Album tonight and it hit me like a TON OF GODDAMNED BRICKS. I had to try and express how incredible it feels to listen to these 10 songs, with the volume turned all the way up. It is easily one of my favorite things about being alive.

7 comments on this entry

I listened to the Blue Album last night too! Then I got so excited about Weezer that I listened to Pinkerton and the Green Album right after that. Then I was on YouTube for like an HOUR watching Weezer videos. El Scorcho might be my favorite Weezer video. I always end up watching it several times in a row. The Perfect Situation video is one of my favorites too.

Ugh, but MAN I hear you! The Blue Album is like the Pet Sounds of our generation. I especially like listening to the Blue Album, then Pinkerton, then the Green Album in order because I feel like it's almost a weird kind of opera, of both Rivers' life and my life, in a way.

I can't wait until the day finally comes that you make that Weezer issue of Phase 7! It's gonna be so rad!

Liz B. Jan21

Who's arguing about the blue album not being the greatest album of our lifetimes? Nobody, that's who! You're talking to straw men, Alec, straw men - anyone sensible and with the good taste to read your blog is likely to have intelligent taste when it comes to music, as well.

That said, preach it! And I, too, am looking forward to the weezer issue. But, as I've said before, I think that Sharp gets too little credit for properly guiding Rivers' genius, so everybody better RECOGNIZE

Ok, I know, I know I'm late to the party. Seven albums late. However, finally, the Weezer switch went off in my head and now, thanks to Messr. Longstreth, I bought all the albums last night and now am in Nerdvana! Gahhhhh!!!!

Bear Jan22

So what you're saying, just to be clear, is you like the Blue Album?

Also, I feel like OK Computer would be more like an envelope full of anthrax or a small pox blanket that a gun.

ak47 Jan22

OK Computer 4 evr!

GRIZZO Jan24

Pinkerton's better.

HP - Your comment cut me to the quick! I (of course) value your opinions about rock music very highly, especially in this case, because we were the same age when this music was hitting the streets.

Without writing a 10,000 word response about Pinkerton, I will say that I agree with you on some level... Please note that I equated the destructive force of the Blue Album to the atomic bomb, which has been used TWICE. To me, Pinkerton is the only other A-bomb!

I'm sure a Pinkerton post will force its way out of me one of these days...

Alec Feb13

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